How to Speak "Enough" Hawaiian

So we've learned some Hawaiian since we've been here.  We've also learned a little bit about the culture while trying to pick it up.  Turns out the way that you speak Hawaiian identifies you with one of the following groups:

1.  "Hawaiian Native."  These people are pretty easy to identify.  They're Hawaiian.  I don't know much about state history, but I do know that there aren't many states that used to be independent nations.  Hawaii was.

In fact, there are a few natives here who would like it to return to an independent nation . . . . which is why you should never go onto a beach, or into an area of a park if you see a Hawaii flag flown upside down.  Nothing good will come of this.  Most natives don't share this attitude.  They are kind, but we really haven't had much interaction with true natives.  It's amazing how many sub-cultures there are here, and how rarely they interact.  This makes it difficult for us "Haoles" to start to grasp what they are actually speaking.

Technically, natives aren't speaking Hawaiian.  Less than 1% of the population can still speak it.  What they are speaking is Hawaii Creole English . . . . they call it "Pidgin."  When Hawaii became a state English became the official language spoken in public schools, so naturally Hawaiian started to die out.  However, there are major pushes for it to make a come back in society.  Most parks, beaches and streets are now required to have Hawaiian names.  They are also beginning to teach it again in public schools.

If you're reading this blog there is no way you'll ever fit into this group.  You kinda have to be born into it.  In fact, you're really not even allowed to speak true Hawaiian in most situations.  It's almost like it's sacred.

2.  "Not Hawaiian, but think you are."  Maybe you've been here most of your life.  Maybe you just got off the last boat and you decided that you lived here in a former life.  Either way, you're a strange breed.  You don't speak Hawaiian.  You think you do.  You use terms like, "Eh, Brah" (English equivalent of "what's up?") because you read it on a bumper sticker.  You assume you're saying it correctly.  Fact is, if you have any accent other than a Polynesian one then it's extremely difficult to say this correctly.  Stop trying.  (K'Den?)

3.  "Not Hawaiian.  Hardly noticed that there were native Hawaiians here.  Why are all these street names so weird?"  You are almost as annoying as the 2nd group, and just as disrespectful.  You have absolutely no idea how to pronounce any Hawaiian words, nor do you make any attempt.  You probably haven't been here for an extremely long time, and you aren't planning on spending the rest of your life here.  Why bother?  (Group also known as, "Junk Haoles")

4.  "Not Hawaiian, know that you aren't, but have enough respect for the culture to try."  This is the group we're trying to be in.  We do not always pronounce everything correctly.  We also don't try to say things we're not supposed to.  (Da' kine?)  We do make a strong effort.  This involves pronouncing street names aloud to yourself in the car every time you pass them.  It includes repeating words or phrases you hear on the news, and then trying to spell it out in your head.  It also includes using several words that are extremely common and somewhat expected.  Some people believe this is all that is left of the Hawaiian language.  That isn't true . . . but it's considered "enough" Hawaiian (no less . . . and really no more) for Haoles like us.

"Aloha" - Hello / Goodbye.  Also a term used to express the generosity of spirit the state of Hawaii would like to convey.  Live Aloha.
"Mahalo" - This does not mean "trash," although you see it on all of the bins.  (Common mistake.)  It actually means "thank you."

"Kokua" - Help or assistance.  As in "Kokua keep off the grass."
"Lanai" - Porch / balcony / patio
"E Komo Mai" - Welcome
"Ohana" - Family
"Keiki" - Kid or kids
"Haole" - Literal meaning: "foreigner"  Actually used for: "white guy"
"Wahine" - Woman
"Kane" - Men (Those last 2 are especially helpful when you need to choose a public restroom.)
"Pu pu" - Appetizer.  Took us a while to realize that a "Pupu Platter" was a good thing.

As far as street names go, it's going to take some practice.  Here are the basics:  The Hawaiian alphabet has 5 vowels (a,e,i,o,u) and only 7 consonants (h,k,l,m,n,p,w).  The vowels are pronounced different than you'd think.  They tell us it's pretty much the same as Spanish.  Dan and I both took French in high school.  For those of you who also ignored all the people who told us that we'd never use French, here is how you pronounce them:

a - "ah"
e - long a
i - long e
o - long o
u - oo (as in "spoon")

ai - long i (as in "Waikiki")

Also, W's are pronounced as V's.

Keeping these rules in mind, it isn't pronounced "Hawaii."  It's pronounced, "Hah - VI - E"  (Only the airline attendants pronounce it this way, though.)

Anyone want to give a go at the state fish?  Humuhumunukunukuapua'a

Good luck with that. 

One more thing.  Never ask a Moke, "Like Beef?"  You'll get your Okole kicked.