Why You Should Come Visit

We recently took both sets of our parents back to the airport.  Dan's came in February, and mine left this week.  We now officially live here.  Funny how something isn't quite right until your parents have seen it and approve.  Even when you're 30.  (Not that I'm admitting to being any outrageous age like that.)

  

This means that there are currently no airline tickets booked for people to come visit us.  Although we have several people who intend to come at certain times, so far we don't have any flight numbers to watch for.  This is unsettling to us (okay, me).  Thus, we (okay, I) have formed this list with the intention of enticing you to look up some flights.

Without further ado.  The Top 10 Reasons YOU Should Come Visit the Stanleys:

10.  The High temp is in the 70's, and the Low temp is in the 60's.  Every day.  Details here:  http://www.weather.com/weather/5-day/96786

9.  Hawaii is the most beautiful place on the earth.  I'm sure of it.  No other place I can think of has God come so close to wearing Himself out on His creation.  (Not that I think He could be worn out . . . come on . . . . you know what I mean.)  Seriously, though.  Huge, beautiful green mountains.  They come on so suddenly that you can see the grooves on the sides of them filled with trees that look like evergreens but couldn't be.  Miniature valleys winding up the sides of cliffs.  And so green.  Sometimes the mountains layer over each other so that it looks like you're in a cavern of every shade of green you can imagine.  Then there will be a break in the mountains and you'll catch a glimpse of a thousands shades of blue with white waves crashing down at a slightly lower elevation in front of you.  The sun shifts and a thousand more shades of blue appear.  And to think.  God made all this beauty fit into one tiny little blip on the map, and He put it out in the biggest expanse of nothing on the globe.  Kinda makes you think He did it that way on purpose so that you'd have leave everything else far enough behind that you couldn't possibly worry about it while you're here.  Just sayin'.

8.  FREE LODGING!  Queen-sized Simmons Beautyrest mattress.  It's a good one, I promise.  Your own bathroom.  Also, you have a mountain view from your bedroom!  Whatever cereal or breakfast bars you find laying around for breakfast, plus lots and lots of really strong coffee.  Although we do have hot dogs and Cheetos for lunch quite a bit, I cook a pretty mean dinner most nights.    However, if you'd like to just sleep here and stay out all day we're good with that, too.  We do recommend that you wake up at least one morning in a hotel in Waikiki . . . just because it's fun.  But that's up to you. (Unless you drink the rest of the coffee . . . then we might move you out.)  Just kidding. . . . kinda.

7.  We can get you the Military or Kamaaina (local) discount at just about every major attraction or excursion here.  Even some hotels.  That will save you between 15% - 50%.  We have lots of recommendations.  But the best thing on the island is the beach (all of them).  And they're always free.  In fact, there are NO private beaches on the entire island.  It's the law that there MUST be public access to any beach, even if it has to be provided over private property.  In fact, the only beach on the whole island that isn't public access is the beach on Bellows Air Force Station.  It happens to be the prettiest beach we've ever seen anywhere in the world, hands down.  And we can get you in .  :)  We can even get you a cabin to rent right on the water so you can watch the sunrise.  Softest sand on the island, best view, best water, best swimming . . . . not open to the public.  P.E.R.F.E.C.T.

6.  Pearl Harbor.  Polynesian Cultural Center.  Waikiki.  Ala Moana Mall.  Sea Life Park.  Diamond Head.  Ko Olina.  Paradise Cove.  Hanauma Bay.  More than likely we will have already been to whatever attraction you're planning to visit, so we probably won't be interested in going with you.  Don't worry about us tagging along on your vacation.  Also, we have plenty of beach towels, umbrellas, mats, toys & gear.  You don't need to bring any of that.

5.  Maui Caramacs . . . . . nom nom nom.  Oh!  And Maui Mike's Chicken  . . . mmmmmmm.

4.  We'll take you shopping at the EPX.  Department store cosmetics, designer purses, electronics . . . . about 30% off . . . . and no tax.

3.  We're at pretty much the most central point of the island, so everything is a 30 minute drive, at most (as long as it isn't rush hour).  We can take you to most places in our vehicles, including to and from the airport.  However, if you really want your own car the best way is it to Priceline it so low that you get that disclaimer about it being "extremely unlikely" that you'll get it for that price.  You almost always do.

2.  Southwest and Allegiant have reported that they will both begin offering flights to Hawaii in the "near future."  Until then, here's the best way to score cheap flights.  Wait for a cheap flight to a major city on the west coast.  If you happen to live on the west coast, then "yay" for you!  Go to www.airfarewatchdog.com or www.hawaiianair.com about 2-3 months out and score some super cheap flights from the west coast city to Honolulu, Int'l.  ($300 - $400 Round Trip)

1.  The thing we miss the most about "home" is our family & friends.  If we could have you all here then life would be awfully close to perfect.  So do us a favor and look up some flights already.

http://www.hawaiianair.com/
http://www.airfarewatchdog.com/

How to Speak "Enough" Hawaiian

So we've learned some Hawaiian since we've been here.  We've also learned a little bit about the culture while trying to pick it up.  Turns out the way that you speak Hawaiian identifies you with one of the following groups:

1.  "Hawaiian Native."  These people are pretty easy to identify.  They're Hawaiian.  I don't know much about state history, but I do know that there aren't many states that used to be independent nations.  Hawaii was.

In fact, there are a few natives here who would like it to return to an independent nation . . . . which is why you should never go onto a beach, or into an area of a park if you see a Hawaii flag flown upside down.  Nothing good will come of this.  Most natives don't share this attitude.  They are kind, but we really haven't had much interaction with true natives.  It's amazing how many sub-cultures there are here, and how rarely they interact.  This makes it difficult for us "Haoles" to start to grasp what they are actually speaking.

Technically, natives aren't speaking Hawaiian.  Less than 1% of the population can still speak it.  What they are speaking is Hawaii Creole English . . . . they call it "Pidgin."  When Hawaii became a state English became the official language spoken in public schools, so naturally Hawaiian started to die out.  However, there are major pushes for it to make a come back in society.  Most parks, beaches and streets are now required to have Hawaiian names.  They are also beginning to teach it again in public schools.

If you're reading this blog there is no way you'll ever fit into this group.  You kinda have to be born into it.  In fact, you're really not even allowed to speak true Hawaiian in most situations.  It's almost like it's sacred.

2.  "Not Hawaiian, but think you are."  Maybe you've been here most of your life.  Maybe you just got off the last boat and you decided that you lived here in a former life.  Either way, you're a strange breed.  You don't speak Hawaiian.  You think you do.  You use terms like, "Eh, Brah" (English equivalent of "what's up?") because you read it on a bumper sticker.  You assume you're saying it correctly.  Fact is, if you have any accent other than a Polynesian one then it's extremely difficult to say this correctly.  Stop trying.  (K'Den?)

3.  "Not Hawaiian.  Hardly noticed that there were native Hawaiians here.  Why are all these street names so weird?"  You are almost as annoying as the 2nd group, and just as disrespectful.  You have absolutely no idea how to pronounce any Hawaiian words, nor do you make any attempt.  You probably haven't been here for an extremely long time, and you aren't planning on spending the rest of your life here.  Why bother?  (Group also known as, "Junk Haoles")

4.  "Not Hawaiian, know that you aren't, but have enough respect for the culture to try."  This is the group we're trying to be in.  We do not always pronounce everything correctly.  We also don't try to say things we're not supposed to.  (Da' kine?)  We do make a strong effort.  This involves pronouncing street names aloud to yourself in the car every time you pass them.  It includes repeating words or phrases you hear on the news, and then trying to spell it out in your head.  It also includes using several words that are extremely common and somewhat expected.  Some people believe this is all that is left of the Hawaiian language.  That isn't true . . . but it's considered "enough" Hawaiian (no less . . . and really no more) for Haoles like us.

"Aloha" - Hello / Goodbye.  Also a term used to express the generosity of spirit the state of Hawaii would like to convey.  Live Aloha.
"Mahalo" - This does not mean "trash," although you see it on all of the bins.  (Common mistake.)  It actually means "thank you."

"Kokua" - Help or assistance.  As in "Kokua keep off the grass."
"Lanai" - Porch / balcony / patio
"E Komo Mai" - Welcome
"Ohana" - Family
"Keiki" - Kid or kids
"Haole" - Literal meaning: "foreigner"  Actually used for: "white guy"
"Wahine" - Woman
"Kane" - Men (Those last 2 are especially helpful when you need to choose a public restroom.)
"Pu pu" - Appetizer.  Took us a while to realize that a "Pupu Platter" was a good thing.

As far as street names go, it's going to take some practice.  Here are the basics:  The Hawaiian alphabet has 5 vowels (a,e,i,o,u) and only 7 consonants (h,k,l,m,n,p,w).  The vowels are pronounced different than you'd think.  They tell us it's pretty much the same as Spanish.  Dan and I both took French in high school.  For those of you who also ignored all the people who told us that we'd never use French, here is how you pronounce them:

a - "ah"
e - long a
i - long e
o - long o
u - oo (as in "spoon")

ai - long i (as in "Waikiki")

Also, W's are pronounced as V's.

Keeping these rules in mind, it isn't pronounced "Hawaii."  It's pronounced, "Hah - VI - E"  (Only the airline attendants pronounce it this way, though.)

Anyone want to give a go at the state fish?  Humuhumunukunukuapua'a

Good luck with that. 

One more thing.  Never ask a Moke, "Like Beef?"  You'll get your Okole kicked.