Consider This Our Christmas Card

Mele Kalikimaka!

It is NOT beginning to look a lot like Christmas.  Although we did have a 68 degree (or "2 below") day last week, all the Christmas lights and decorations look kinda strange.  We have our Christmas tree up, and have had it up since the middle of November.  (Hey - if Wal-Mart is selling eggnog, then it isn't too early.)  However, we'll be taking it down next week, since we'll be traveling back to Missouri soon.  Then maybe it will start to feel like Christmas.

This month will mark 1 year since we moved to Oahu.  It has flown by.  But when I think of all the changes we've made it seems like we've lived here for much, much longer.  Instead of a narrative of what has happened in each of our lives, I'll give you the raw stats under the categories of "Added," "Grew," "Learned," "Favorite New Thing," "Frequently Says," "Loves the most about HI Home," and "Misses the most about MO Home."

Joslyn:

• Added: 8 teeth.  A taste for ice cream (thanks to Grandma's visit).  A strong right cross (the mark of a little sister).  A lot of pink to our house.

• Grew: Beautiful blonde hair.  A 6'5" Daddy around her left pinky finger.  Out of her crib.  
• Learned: How to walk.  How to kick, throw, hike, shoot and dodge any ball.  How to avoid Axel when he asks to play ball.  That the people she loves the most in the world live inside the iPad.  How to climb onto a queen-size bed by doing a full flip over the safety rail.  That Axel's food tastes better than hers, even if it's the exact same thing.  How to fall asleep without a "binkers."
• Favorite New Thing: Stealing Axel's toy and running away, then crying when he takes it back. Anything "pretty."  Waking up and calling for "Nana" (banana) at 6:30am.  The sound of the front door opening (because it means Dada is home).    

• Frequently Says: "Oooold jewwwww" (translation: "hold you").  "No."  "Nana."  "A-bick-a-byyyyanoo" (translation: "I want you to sing Itsy-Bitsy Spider")
• Loves the Most about HI Home: Mango, papaya and cantaloupe (in mass quantities).  The taste of sand.  The slide at the park down the street.
• Misses the most about MO Home: What's MO Home?

Axel:

• Added: A love for playing the drums (whether it be a toy, the couch, the wall, or Joslyn's head).  More words to his vocabulary than he can appropriately use.   
• Grew: 3 shoe sizes.  Another 6" in height.  A serious attitude.

• Learned: How to ride a bike.  How to ride a scooter. (Not at the same time.)  How to properly Shaka.  The skill of negotiating when told to do something he doesn't want to do.  How to put his shoes on all by himself.  That the word "accident" is magical and allows you to get away with anything.

• Favorite New Thing: Baseball.  He can hit off a pitch better than most of the grade school kids in the neighborhood.  Charlie Brown (because he says, "stupid" and Axel isn't allowed to).  
• Frequently Says: "Mama, don't tell me what to do."  "You want to tackle me?"  "I don't need to go potty."  "You want to get some ice cream?"  "You want to go to Papa's house?"  "You want to do that now?" 

• Loves the Most about HI Home: Playing outside.  Every.  Single.  Day.  
• Misses the most about MO Home: Grandmas, Grandpas & "Cousins."

Kaysi:

• Added: A number of Army acronyms to her vocabulary, including, but not limited to: BAH, DOD, AAF, AD, MP, AAFES, COLA, OCONUS, TDY, MAC, PCS, MWR, NCO, HUI, NEX.  (Bonus points to whoever can tell me what all those stand for.)  
• Grew: A couple pounds here or there, but you are not allowed to notice.  Flowers, without killing them (for the first time ever).  An appreciation for good sun glasses. An intolerance for any temperature outside of 70-75 degrees. 

•  Learned: Exactly which online companies will ship to Hawaii, which will not, and which say they will but actually won't.  What Vog is and why we dislike it.  That nobody does Halloween like the Army. How to travel 1/3 of the way around the world with 2 toddlers . . . . for free.  How to kill a 9" centipede.  How cheap property in Missouri actually is.  
• Favorite New Thing: Open-air fresh fruit markets.  Kona coffee.  Pineapple.  Sea turtles.  Fresh Mango.  Surfing.  Trade winds.  North Shore.

• Frequently Says:  "You need to go potty."  "Stop jumping on the couch."  "Did you make the coffee, yet?"  "Get your shoes and go get in the van."  "Set the alarm for 6:30 - the Steelers play at 7."  "It's nap time!"  "I'll call Amanda." (our babysitter)
• Loves the Most about HI Home:  Sunset picnics on the beach.  Finally living close to a GAP.  Posting our weather forecast on Facebook when I know it's either boiling or freezing in Missouri.  That I'm the only person here who knows how to make gooey butter cake.

• Misses the most about MO Home:  Sonic.  Family.  The cost of milk.  Our church (all 3 of them). Good quality beef.  Birthday parties with family.  The smell when you turn on your heater for the first time.  

Dan (He wrote this one himself):

• Added: Quite a few Hawaiian words to the vocab.  A few pounds worth of Ted's bakery and Bubbies ice cream to the frame.  A perfectly fine wedding band to the bottom of Shark's Cove.

• Grew: A tolerance for driving 55mph or less at all times.  A deeper appreciation of everything our Army soldiers sacrifice in order to keep our country safe.

• Learned: How to snorkel with ocean creatures without freaking out (...too much).  Asians love Hawaii.  If you (and your wife) don't have a tattoo then you apparently don't belong in the Army.  How to surf (little waves).  You can drive 15 miles across town and be merging the entire time.  It can rain everyday and the grass still won't grow in our backyard.  There's a reason surfers are usually short.  When the lifeguard says "Hey, pretty hard shore break today, be careful," they really mean, "You're too white, get back in your beat up Camry and go home."

• Favorite New Thing: Bubbies ice cream.  Hiking to waterfalls and rope-swinging into bacteria-filled pools.  Meeting wounded warriors on a daily basis.  Only mowing once a month or so.  Haupia anything.
• Frequently Says:  "Dude, let's go to Bubbies!"  "I'm from Missouri."  "It's complicated, but yes, I'm active duty."  "I have no clue, ask your platoon sergeant."  "No thanks, I don't eat poi."  "Are we going to the PX tonight?"
• Loves the Most about HI Home: 25 very nice golf courses within 20 miles of my house (well actually EVERYTHING is within 20 miles of my house).  Boogie boarding.  Hiking.  Snorkeling.
• Misses the most about MO Home: Family.  Easier work schedule (and load).  Andy's thin mint concrete.  Krispy Kreme.  A big house.  Busch Stadium.  Cheap stuff.

We have had an amazing, incredible, unforgettable year, and we are looking forward to at least a few more.  

We still truly wish you were here.  Have a very very Merry Christmas!

Aloha,

The Stanleys

The Stanleys Take San Francisco

The kids and I just got home from a quick trip to MO home.  We did birthday parties, baseball games, Sonic runs, and lots and lots of family time.  Dan didn't get to come this time.  Someone has to stay home and work so we can afford to take these fun trips around the world.  Since he's the one with the job . . . well, there ya go.

We traveled via Space-A again.  Once in the cargo bay of a KC-135, and then in the loft of a C-5.  This time we were prepared for the frigid temperatures with fleece hoodies and down comforters . . . . and it was miserably hot.  So we live and learn.  Again.

While we have lots of great stories from this trip, probably the least boring for you to read about would be the three days we spent stranded in California.  My mother and mother-in-law were so very sweet.  They called, checked on us, and felt sorry for us in general.  They even recruited people to pray for us to make it home.  We are so blessed to have such wonderful family.  However, now that I am all the way back home I feel it safe for me to fill them in on what actually went on while we were "stranded."

I'll admit, there was a general sense of panic when we landed in Sacramento at 10:00pm to learn that our flight we were supposed to take from Travis Air Force Base the next morning had been postponed.  For 3 days.  For a good hour I stressed, made phone calls, and even recruited Dan to help me search online for last minute airfare or hotel deals.  This process was made slightly more difficult due to the fact that Dan was on the golf course during my time of need.  Nevertheless, it didn't take long for us to decide that the best plan of action was to check into the military hotel on base at Travis and wait for the flight.

This was the point at which all of the prayers from family kicked in, and our plight transformed into some of the best time I've ever spent with my babies.  Our driver arrived to take us from Sacramento International to Travis AFB.  Little did I know that the woman who owned the company came herself to pick us up, because she thought that would make me feel more comfortable since I was traveling alone with 2 little ones.  She was right.  She waited patiently for me to come down from my heightened state of panic so that I could get the kids into their car seats.  She drove quietly while I called to make, change, and cancel prior arrangements.  Then she described all the wonderful ways the kids and I could spend our time in the area.  By the time we made it to the hotel room the kids were dead weight, and I was already planning all the fun we would have the next day.  This wonderful woman even helped me carry the kids up to their beds.  She got a pretty spectacular tip.

The hotel room turned out to be a large apartment with 2 bedrooms, a living room and a full kitchen.  Not bad for $55 a night.  It took a while to get settled that night, but I was asleep by 2am.  Joslyn was up at 5.

By 10am we had eaten breakfast, bathed, unpacked, rented a car and bought tickets for our day ahead!  3 hours of sleep, children who were pretty tired to begin with, and a place we had never been before.  All the perfect makings for a day of nap-skipping and fun-having!  We took the ferry from Vallejo to San Francisco.  The kids loved it.  We passed the Golden Gate Bridge, other bridges I should know the names of, and even Alcatraz.  We were going to spend the day at the Aquarium, and the famous Pier 39!

It was a beautiful day . . . with the exception of all of the black and orange paraphernalia San Francisco used to rub-in the fact that THEY were going to Game 1 of the World Series that night, and not our beloved Cardinals.

Anyway.

We were pretty rushed getting to the ferry and I spent the ride trying to determine what time our return trip would be, and exactly where I should walk once we reached Pier 41.  I didn't notice that our boat planned to stop at more than one Pier.

You can see where this is going.

When the ferry stopped we looked out at the SAN FRANCISCO sign.  I took their picture beside the water, beside the sign, and we began our trek one block to the left to Pier 39.  We walked through quaint cafes beside the bay and we watched the Trolley Cars ("Trains" as Axel called them).  But we didn't see Pier 39.  In fact, we saw Pier 2, and then Pier 1.  And then I began to panic.  Then I realized that we were NOT at Pier 41, but at the Port of San Francisco.  I sprinted with the stroller back to the ferry just in time to see it pulling away.  (Yes.  Just like in the movies.)  The next one wasn't for 3 hours.  After polling a few San Franciscans I learned that a brisk 30 minute walk would put us at our intended destination.  Please keep in mind that I had just sprinted with a double stroller for 2 city blocks.  What other choice do I have, though, right?  I pushed up my sleeves and we began our brisk walk.

And there he was.  Parked along the road with his padded bench seat and annoying Giants hat.  It was Bicycle Rickshaw Man there to save the day.  I sized up the size of the rickshaw, as compared to the double sit-n-stand stroller.  I said, "Assuming we can find a way to make this fit, how much to Pier 39?"  One very willing Jackson later the 3 of us and the stroller were loaded up and ready to go.  I know San Fran is known for their famous Trolley cars, but to us, they've got nothing on the bicycle tour.

We explored the aquarium - twice.  We ate fish & chips.  We road the 2-story carousel.  We bought a kite.

We watched the Sea Lions.  That part was more entertaining for me than the kids.  I just told them they were going to see "Sea Lions" with no explanation whatsoever.  The looks on their faces as they watched the loud, smelly, wet beasts was priceless.  "You did say 'Lion,' right, Mama?"

We caught the CORRECT ferry back to our car, and were back to the hotel in time to go to bed by 7.  The next day was filled with playgrounds, ponds and plenty of napping.  We continued to receive calls from concerned grandparents, which we graciously accepted.  All the while we made plans for a future - intentional - family vacation.  Maybe one revolving around the next Giants - Cardinals game.

Despite having a fabulous time, coming home was wonderful.  It was the first time we've had that "Ahhhh . . . . home" feeling since moving here.  Kinda makes it official.

And then the Tsunami Warning Sirens began to sound . . .

For Our Parents

Dan and I just celebrated our 8 year wedding anniversary on Maui.  It was wonderful!  We relaxed, swam, shopped, ate, snorkeled, and loved not being on a schedule.  Dan's mom is in town this week, so she kept our babies while we got to escape and play.  2 nights and 3 full days.  It was the longest I've ever been apart from either of my children.

Which got me thinking.

Dan's mom mentioned that this stretch of time before she arrived was the longest time she had ever been apart from her son . . . or any of her children for that matter.  It had been 4 months.  It will be a total of 5 months before I get to see my Mom & Dad.  

They can say what they want, but we know who our parents talk about at work, who they send mail to, and who they want to talk to when they call.  They miss our babies.  They miss us, too.  But they REALLY miss our babies.  Being a long-distance grandparent is not what they asked for.  It is not what they pictured.  It's not what they would choose.  And yet they are still gracious, still encouraging, and still amazing.

This post is for them.

Dear Parents,

Thank you.

For teaching us to be resilient.  You taught us that change is just change and it is not something we should fear.  (Although you may be regretting that one now.)  You taught us to enjoy life and embrace adventure.

For not being angry when we told you we were moving.  (At least not to our faces.)  You were supportive.  Even while we packed up your grandchildren, you smiled as we told you what we were most excited about.  You were actually happy for us . . . . or you did an amazing job pretending so that we could be happy.  

For being willing to spend a small fortune to come visit us.  (Or maintain an entire filing cabinet to organize the credit cards with the best frequent flyer programs.)  

For being ever-present in our children's lives.  Of this we are perhaps the most thankful.  You Skype, FaceTime, call and send them mail.  Axel knows exactly what buttons to push to be able to talk to Papa.  Joslyn recognizes the sound the computer makes when she's about to see someone she loves.  They talk about you as if you live down the street, because in their minds you are not five time zones away.  You are a short click of a button.  You do not even know it, but you are also the persons at the other end of their toy phones.  

For allowing them to have once-in-a-lifetime experiences . . . all the time.  We credit this to you.  They have no idea that it isn't normal to swim alongside endangered sea turtles, or to watch a Hawaiian sunset over pizza on a Tuesday night.  Thank you for always being excited to hear about what they've done today, even though we know you would rather them be eating pizza at your dining room table instead.  Most days they would, too. 

For listening when things here are not quite so perfect.  For encouraging us when the job is hard, or the culture is just too different.  You have never hinted that this move was a mistake, or suggested that we have brought hard times upon ourselves.  You continue to mentor, continue to listen, and continue to be gracious.   

We can not fathom what it would be like to be an ocean apart from our children.  We do not understand what it would be like to be a grandparent.  We do, however, take notes on what we have seen from you.  Your love, encouragement and composure can only come from God, which is where we, too, will seek when our children decide to drop a bomb-shell on us.  When that happens, and until that happens, we will follow your example.  

And when that happens, feel free to remind us that we brought it upon ourselves.  

We love you,

Dan & Kaysi

Life on an Army Post

Post.  Not Base.  The Navy has a base.  The Airforce has a base.  The Marines have a base.  The Army has a post.  I mess this up every day.  This, and many many other things.  Don't misunderstand.  We LOVE it here.  It's just a little bit different.

Here we go.  Daily life for the Stanleys on an Army Post.  

6:38am.  "SLAM" goes Axel's door.  He's awake, and he's headed straight for our room.  He throws his doggie, blanket, whatever miscellaneous toy he's slept with the night before, and finally himself into bed between Dan and myself.  This requires some climbing and clawing, poking and kicking his mother.  Then he says, (as if I don't already know) "I need Mama's phone."  He then logs onto Netflix and proceeds to watch 15 minutes of "Yo Gabba Gabba" while Dan and I pretend like we're actually going to get a little more sleep.

On a side note, "Yo Gabba Gabba" is of Satan.  It is 30 minutes of constant, repetitive, loud annoyance.  Make every effort you possibly can to prevent your children, or any children for that matter, from seeing it.


Finally we get out of bed, get the kids their breakfast, and start our day.  Dan is in uniform.  If you're familiar with the military uniforms at all, he's currently wearing the old style of Navy camo.  It's dark green.  They have an official name besides "camo" but I stopped trying to remember what it is.  He's about to switch over to wearing the all khaki officer uniforms . . . kinda like what they wore on "Major Dad" if you're old enough to remember that show, only with khaki pants instead of the ugly green.  People call him "Commander."  I like this.  His actual rank is Lieutenant Commander, but like everything else, they shorten it.  Besides, it's better than "Lieutenant Dan."

We live in Wheeler Army Airfield.  This is still considered Schofield Barracks (The Army Post . . . I'm not sure where the whole "barracks" thing comes in).  Because there's a pretty large road separating Schofield from Wheeler, we have to go out one gate, and then go in another when we need to run around on base.  I mean post.  (See, it's hard to remember.)  We live just south of the airfield with all of the Chinook Helicopters.  At some point each day they do their maneuvers and they fly over our house.  The kids love it.  It's very cool.  I wanted to take a picture of them tonight and show you, but Dan wouldn't let me.  Something about reconnaissance.  This is a picture I found online of the same helicopters we have here.

Our neighborhood is called Wili-Wili.  It's one of the newest neighborhoods on post.  There are pretty much only 2 floor plans, so all of the houses look the same, with slight variations in color.  They maintain the lawns for you, and will even trim your landscaping if you'd like them to.  This makes for a very clean, uniform looking neighborhood, which I suppose suits the Army way of life.  We live about half a block from a park, and we spend lots and lots of time there.  Often times you'll see banners and signs outside of homes welcoming Daddies and Husbands back from deployment.  They always make me choke up a little bit.  It's a constant, visual reminder of how much these brave soldiers and maybe even braver families sacrifice every day.  

Because we go through bananas and diapers faster than 70spf sunblock, the kids and I are running to Commissary and the EPX quite a bit.  Here's how this works.

"The PX" is a sort of mini-mall, with the main store being a cross between a Macy's and an old school Wal-Mart.  There is a food court (complete with standard sub-par Chinese restaurant), and also a children's play area.  I believe this was designed so that moms could have something with which to bribe their children to behave while shopping.  Regardless, it works wonderfully.

If you need groceries, you go to the Commissary.  This is like an old school grocery store.  Except there are rules.  These rules are not posted, nor does anyone try to explain them to you.  You just have to figure them out.  Here's what I've figured out:

1. You get your cart from outside the store before you come in.  If you get there early enough you'll probably get one.  If you get there RIGHT as they open you might be lucky enough to get a cart where both your kids get to pretend like they're driving a car around the store.
2. You show your Military ID to get in, and then again when you're checking out.  
3. DO NOT GO ON THE 1ST OR THE 15TH.  Payday for the Army.  Think Wal-Mart in Missouri after they've announced that an ice storm is coming.  
4. You don't pay tax, which is great!  You DO pay a "convenience fee" which is about the same as taxes would be . . . so . . .
5. To check-out you stand in a Disney World style switchback line until you're next.  When you get to the front, there is a light-up sign that tells you which line you should go to.  Unless you say otherwise there will be a person there to bag your groceries, carry them to your car, and load them for you.  They work solely for tips.  This was an awkward conversation the first time I went and the nice lady commandeered my cart and followed me out of the store.  I have no idea whether I'm tipping too much or not enough.  However, I typically have 2 babies with me who are not-so-much-fun at this point, so it's totally worth it.  You can also go to the "express" line, but know that they WILL count your items to make sure you're under 15, and you still have to tip the bagger, even though you carry them out yourself.  Don't even get me started on the "self check-out" lines.  

While driving on ba . . . post . . . you have to be very aware of the pedestrians.  Most of the soldiers do not have cars here, so they're walking most places and there are crosswalks everywhere.  Did I mention they're all wearing camo?  You'll see groups in formations or doing crunches in random places.  Every once in a while you'll have to pull over and a long line of men in full uniforms and huge backpacks carrying scary guns will run by.  This is really annoying when you're already late.  Sometimes you'll hear random trumpet sounds from I don't know where.  I'm not really sure what to do when I hear them.  I feel like I should salute, or at least put my hand over my heart or something.  I don't . . . but I wonder if I should.  

Coming back into Wheeler we have to stop at the gate and show our ID.  If you're in the driver or passenger seat you have to show your ID, and one of those 2 people must have a Military ID.  They aren't worried about anyone sitting in the back.  This is of great comfort to me, since everyone knows that terrorists prefer to ride shotgun.  

Our neighbors are all either coming or going.  Everyone PCS's (moves) every 3 years.  They either loved it here or hated it here.  I don't understand how they could hate it.  Seriously.  No matter where you move to from here the weather is going to stink and the view is going to be terrible.  Aside from the language of acronyms, random trumpets, and ID checks, this is really not a bad gig.  Our utilities are covered, our lawn is mowed, and if you don't like your neighbor you don't have to put up with them for very long.  We feel safe, and we're even starting to pick up on some of the lingo.  

We love it here.  On Post.

LOST in Oahu

We know we're about 8 years behind.  Nevertheless, we're helplessly addicted to LOST, thanks to Netflix and no cable.  A couple of months ago we realized that the entire thing was filmed just a few miles from our house so we started watching, just to try to recognize parts of the island.  And just like that - we're hooked.  Seriously, it's like crack.

Anyway.

This post is about all the different LOST locations that we've found.  If you didn't watch LOST, then you can just go ahead and stop reading.  If you did watch it and the addiction has long past (the show did end over 2 years ago, after all), then feel free to stop reading.  I'll never know.  If for some reason you still think Lost is cool, then there might be a chance that you think this post is cool.

The Crash Site

This is a beach just north of us.  In fact, the mountain you see behind the beach in the show you can see from Joslyn's bedroom.  Between the beach and the mountain there's actually an airstrip they use for skydiving, although you can't see it in the show.  The trees that move around when the monster stirs on their first night were superimposed.

The Beach Camp

Toward the end of the 1st Season there's a little blurb about the tide coming in so fast that it's washing away their camp, so they decide to move up the coast a little bit to avoid it.  In reality, this was because the show was gaining popularity so quickly that people were flocking out to the beach to see the set.  They moved to another beach on North Shore that was a little easier to guard from the public.

This beach is one of our favorite spots.  You have to drive through a small neighborhood and park in a dirt patch.  Then you have to walk down this long, 4ft wide walkway between multi-million dollar homes to get to the beach.  Then you have to walk about 10 minutes along the beach.  Their "kitchen" tent is still there.  We heard that Mr. Eko's church is still there, but we didn't see it.

The best part about this beach is that it's the favorite spot on the island for sea turtles to come up on shore and warm themselves on the sand.  The turtles were way more fun than the filming location.

The Dharma Camp

This one is amazing to me.  The yellow houses where The Dharma Initiative and the Others live are actually a group of small cabins at a YMCA on North Shore.  It's used as a summer camp for kids, and it's just a few hundred yards from the crash site.  It's right on the beach, but on the show it's no where near the coast.  They also somehow made these tiny, 1-room cabins look like nice homes.  I didn't recognize it at all the first time we drove by.  Their sign reads "Lost fans welcome."  They'll actually let you come on to their grounds and look around . . . if you're willing to leave a small donation to the camp.

The Banyan Tree

If you watch closely, the Banyan tree that several of the cast members hide in from the monster, and the one that Walt hides inside to escape the Polar Bear, and the one they walk by about a billion times is the same tree.  You can find it along a public hiking trail at the Turtle Bay Resort on North Shore.  This trail is also used pretty much any time you see the cast hiking through thick brush.

Hurley's Golf Course

. . . and pretty much any wide-open area with a view used in the entire series is at Kualoa Ranch.  This is a private ranch that has been used to film many movies and TV shows, including Jurassic Park, 50 First Dates, and others.  They have tours you can go on to see the movie sites, but they also have horseback riding, ATV rides, and a Jungle Excursion.  We're hoping to do this soon.

Mr. Eko's Nigerian Village

This is actually Waialua, a small village on North Shore.  They really didn't have to do much to make this look like a poor Nigerian village.  It pretty much looks like that all the time, complete with chickens roaming around free.

The Sydney Airport

This is great.  Every single shot of the cast at the Sydney airport was filmed in the atrium of the Honolulu Convention Center.  Remember the scene when Hurley was racing to make his flight, and he borrowed the old guy's scooter and drove through the crowds of people to get to his gate?  Yeah.  All the same big atrium.  It's incredible what they can do with cameras.  The building is actually really beautiful, and is just off the main strip of Waikiki.


They sell tours of the Lost locations for big bucks, but in reality almost all of these places are open to the public.  You just have to know where to find them.

Yeah, I know.  We're way behind the craze.  Too late to be cool.  But we're parents now, so I suppose that fits.

Come visit.  We'll show you around.  Or not.

Long Journey, Long Blog

We're here!  We weren't planning to be back just yet, but we're here!  Dan was given about a week's notice for a 2 week training in San Antonio this month, so we decided to make this our trip home for the summer.  Besides, any opportunity to not endure another Missouri July was worth talking about.  His trip was paid for, so we decided that the kids and I should try out the Space Available service offered through the military. 

Here's how it works.  The military has to transport cargo and personnel between bases, and they have a fleet of old school military planes they use to do it.  If there is space left over ("space available") on any of those planes, then they offer it to members of military and retirees and their families. 

Here are the catches.  None of the flights are announced until 72 hours (at most) ahead of time.  Even when a flight is posted the odds of that flight actually leaving when it says it will leave, and going to the place it is originally intended to go to is about a 50/50.  A couple hours before the flight there is a "Role Call" for the seats on the plane.  This is when the seats are given to people who have signed-up according to their Category and their date of sign-up.  This means that you have to show up at the terminal with bags packed, ready to board the plane before you even know if you will be allowed to go on that flight. 

But it's free.  So it's totally worth a shot, right?

This is the story of my journey to MO home with the kids.  It's going to be a long blog.  It was a long journey.  I'm going to break it into subheadings because that's how we traveled.  In subheadings.  I was only going to allow myself to be stressed over one part at a time.  At the end of each section I'll describe what Dan was doing at roughly the same time. 

Catching the Flight

The earliest I was going to begin to look for flights was Wednesday the 18th, which happens to be Joslyn's 1st birthday.  Lo and Behold, a flight to Forbes Field in Topeka, KS appeared on the schedule for around 9pm that night.  Perfect!  This means the kids will sleep the entire trip.  Topeka is quite a drive from MO, but it's an awful lot closer than Hawaii.  There were 35 seats open, so our odds looked great! 

Wednesday, April 18, 4pm:  Birthday Cake for Joslyn!  Flight to Forbes Field, KS delayed until Thursday, April 19, 10am. 

Thursday, April 19, 6am:  Flight to Forbes Field, KS delayed until 5pm.

Thursday, April 19, 8pm:  Kids and I were selected for the flight (woohoo!)  Bags checked, ready to go through security and board the plane.  Flight to Forbes Field, KS delayed until Friday, April 20, 5am.  We go get our bags back and drive home.  We set our alarms for 3am.

Friday, April 20, 3am:  Flight to Forbes Field, KS delayed until Friday, April 20, 10am.

Friday, April 20, 6am:  Flight to Forbes Field, KS delayed until Saturday, April 21, 9am.

Friday, April 20, 2pm:  We begin to think that Forbes Field, KS does not exist.  I notice a flight to Jackson Int'l, Mississippi at 9pm tonight.  This would be perfect timing for the kids . . . I wonder how much tickets are from Jackson to any place where I know anyone. 

Friday, April 20, 9pm:  We arrive again at the terminal with bags packed, and tickets on hold to fly from Jackson to Dallas, TX (where my sister lives).  We are selected for the flight, along with every person who was also selected for the Forbes Field flight 2 days ago.  We begin to check our bags when they announce that the flight is not going to Jackson Int'l Airport, but rather Jackson Int'l Reserve Base which is 30 minutes from the airport and has no available services or amenities.  We (all the passengers for the flight) all look at each other.  We decided that we are all in this together, and we would figure this out.  There were people offering to take cabs to get rental cars to transport everyone in small numbers to the airport.  There were people calling loved ones to call bus companies to meet us there when we landed.  Everyone was calling someone.

Friday, April 20, 11:45pm:  We take off for Jackson Int'l Reserve Base, Mississippi.  No one on board knows how they are going to get from the base to the airport.  In a strange and comforting way, no one was worried. 

• At this point Dan was watching to see that our plane actually took off.  Then he was texting me the numbers of cab companies in Jackson, Mississippi so that I could call them as soon as I landed.  He was sending Facebook messages to family members so that they knew we were actually coming this time.  He was looking up flights from Jackson to Dallas to see if there were any more options for us if our flight was early or late.  He was wonderful. 

The Cargo Plane

I think it was a C-5.  It was huge.  It had a big hatch opening in the back where they can drive Humvees, tanks and helicopters inside.  In fact, it was large enough that you could fit 2 Humvees side by side, and still have room for the seats on the sides.  We were in fold-down seats (think director's chair) on the sides of the plane, everyone facing the center.  They were really much more comfortable than they sound.  This pic is the closest to the interior as I could find.  They would NOT let us take pictures on board.  The only difference (besides the pimped out limos) is that this plane appears to have some form of insulation on the walls.  Ours did not.  We could see cables, wires and gears throughout the interior.  It was metal 365 degrees around us.  It was awesome.

When one of the pilots said that we were able to move around I unfastened my seatbelt to take Axel to change his pull-up.  When we came out of the bathroom there were sleeping bags and large blankets covering the large, open floor.  There was even a man who plugged in a self-inflating air mattress.  Everyone was settling in for the night. 

Then they pulled out their hats and gloves and coats.  Oh, dear.  When they told me it can get cold I decided to put the kids in long sleeved jammies.  They meant cold.  Like, bundle up for winter cold.  Joslyn was wearing every bit of clothing I had packed for her, and she was bundled up tight in her blanket in her car seat.  Axel wanted to sleep on the floor, so I cuddled up next to him to keep him from shivering.  One of the pilots was kind enough to locate a couple wool blankets for us. 

Other than the sub-arctic conditions it was a really fun way to travel.  There were lots of kids, and Axel and I even stood up and played catch for a while.  We walked around and looked out the small window on the door at the Rocky Mountains when we passed them.  We sat on the floor and put stickers on our faces and watched Wizard of Oz (because the plane was too loud to hear it).  Did I mention they handed out ear plugs when we got on board?  It was kinda loud.  Something about the no insulation . . .

When we began our descent I got a little queasy.  I look over at Axel who is white as a sheet.  He's thrown up on a swing at the park before.  This was not going to go well.  10 seconds later he was covered in puke, and we still hadn't landed.  I'm cleaning him as best as I can with us both in our seats.  When we land I have about one minute to change his clothes and clean him up before I figure out how we're going to get to the airport.

He was a trooper.  He didn't notice the puke all over him because he was really excited that the nice pilot said we were about to get onto a shuttle bus.  "Ride School Bus More??  Ride School Bus More??"

• Dan was at home.  Sleeping.  In a real bed.

Jackson Int'l to Jackson Int'l

It turns out we were all worried for nothing.  The incredibly kind men at the Jackson Int'l Reserve Base did not want to leave us stranded so they just kept driving our shuttle bus from the cargo plane all the way to the Jackson Int'l Airport, about 20 minutes away.  We love them.

They drop us off and the kids and I have just enough time to clean up, check in, find something to eat and find our gate before our flight to Dallas.  I approach the ticket counter and set our suitcase on the scale.  "This bag's overweight, Ma'am.  That will be $125." 

This was the only point on the entire trip that I didn't think I could handle it.  If Dan had been there this would not have happened.  It would have occurred to Dan that if you pack 3 people for 3 weeks into one ginormous suitcase you would run the risk of it being overweight.  This did not occur to me.  Dan would know what to do.  What would Dan do?  He would dump things that we could replace.  It would be much cheaper to replace them than to pay $100 extra dollars.  I was sure he would not want me to spend $100.  Into the trash goes the bbq sauce I had made for my dad's birthday.  Into the trash went a full bottle of baby wash, as well as body wash.  I weight the bag.  3 more pounds to go.  Into the carry-on goes a couple pair of shoes and the baby monitors.  I weigh the bag.  50.0 lbs.  I'm not kidding in the least when I say that I shouted "Yes!" in the middle of the terminal and thrust both of my hands into the air in a victory celebration.  I had won.  I can do this. 

I now handed the not-so-kind ticket counter man Axel's puky car seat.  I didn't want him to sit in it for the last flight, and it's the airline's policy that they will not charge for checked car seats.  On some level I believe that God allowed Axel to get sick on that flight, just so that I could have this moment.  This moment of satisfaction from handing over a puky car seat to a man who should have known better than to be impatient with a woman who was traveling with 2 babies.  A better person would have used that opportunity to be kind to someone who was probably having a rough day himself.  I shamelessly took great satisfaction in it. 

We arrive at our gate in enough time for the kids to have crawl races through an empty area of the airport.  This was one of the best parts of the trip.  They were having a ball and laughing loudly.  I so love them.

• Dan booked our ticket as soon as I told him we had landed.  He even got us on an earlier flight that was less full so that we were sure to have an actual seat for Joslyn.  Then he got into a cab and headed to the airport where he flew commercially all the way to the mainland with free soda and peanuts served to him.  He had headphones instead of ear plugs and insulation and carpet instead of a metal floor.  He landed in Dallas (coincidentally) and hung out in a La-Z-Boy at the USO for a couple hours with free food and ESPN until his connecting flight to San Antonio arrived.  He then had time to get in a quick round of golf while he waited for his private, King Bed hotel room at the Hilton to be ready for him to check-in.  He got to bed a little later than he wanted to that night.  

Central Time Zone

It is not easy to adjust a 1 and 2 year old after a 5 hour chunk of time vanishes from their lives.  They went to bed at 10pm on Saturday night (their normal 5pm) and they slept until noon the next day.  I'll spare you the math.  That's 14 hours.  They are somewhere between Hawaii Time and Central Time now.  We're just going with it. 

I spent time at my sister's new home.  I bought my kids hot fudge sundaes at 10pm at McDonald's on our drive up to Carthage.  They have played with Grandmas, Grandpas, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins until they can no longer stand up straight.  They LOVE being home with family.  I do, too.  It was totally, completely worth it.

• Dan remains at the Hilton.  We're pretty sure he'd rather be with us at this point, but at least there's lots of golf in San Antonio to keep him busy between conference sessions.